Life INSIDE the Cubicle

Switcheroo!!

2007-01-10T13:59:00.000-05:00

So deaner quit.
And Giner is coming back to take over a maternity leave.
Maybe Giner can take over this blog since me and Deaner aren't really that into it anymore.

Good times at the work party..

2006-10-31T10:46:00.001-05:00

I haven't been on here in a while because I was so busy that I couldn't even fit in a pretend vacation. Last week things let up a bit and my work load shifted around and I have a minute or two to share some pictures from the Toronto Life 40th aniversary party.

Nicole and Dena did a very nice job of being tipsy and posing for their Restylane shot.

Also, you can plainly see here that me and Monica from accounting are very much in love.
I'll post again soon and let you know how that's going. I think maybe soon I might have a chance to get away on a pretend vacation too.

I think Giner misses her cubicle..

2006-09-05T10:58:00.000-04:00

I come home very late Saturday night from Cuba with work being the last thing on my mind. I check my emails and discover a very detailed post for MY blog from Gina. It has pictures and word links. Far more detailed than any of my own half ass posts.
Then I get to work this morning and find the same email in my work emails and a quick reminder in my blog messages. Just in case I forgot about her post..Gina, darling, you are in China. You need to forget about the cubicle. I promise you, you are not missing a thing. China is way cooler. Actually, anywhere is way cooler. I discovered last week while getting second degree burns on a powder white beach that work is for suckers. I hope someday soon I can join the land of Life Outside the Cubicle..We could switch? Anyway below is the post about the day back in April 2005 when you were having way too much fun right beside me in the cubicle. I do remember that day with fondness, oiled up Turkish wrestlers are pretty good.

Saving Yourself from the Evil Forces

2006-09-05T10:24:00.000-04:00

You know the drill, you made a phone call and are now waiting for the other person to stop ignoring your voicemail messages and call you back. There is only so much filing any human being can do before they pass out from boredom and then you are back to looking for something to do as you wait. Eating a snack is good. So, off you are to the kitchen to get a plate you don't need for the snack but hey, this'll kill at least ten, maybe fifteen minutes. Back at the desk after the ivigorating conversation with the deliver guys in the kitchen you discover that you have missed the call you have been waiting for. Here we go again. This time it'll take at least an hour before you can expect a response. It's now 10:45 a.m. Too early for lunch, too late for another snack. Finally, it hits you, hallelulijah! You could surf the net as you wait. Yes, yes, great, this way you won't have to leave your desk and won't miss the call.

A few minutes of surfing and you find what you've been looking for. Yup that's right, straight guys oil wrestling.

But wait, it gets better. Not only do these barrel chested men in leather shorts grease themselves down with olive oil but now that they are slippery they have to find something to hold on to and what better to get a firm grip on then

another man's c*&k!

I don't care what anyone thinks: this is hot in a Brokeback Mountain sort of way. It made my day back on April 24, 2005 and I felt a little smarter for having discovered the ancient art of Turkish Olive Oil Wrestling without having to leave my cubicle. A truly cultural experience. Now available on video!

Giner

Hey Gina remember this?

2006-08-17T15:26:00.000-04:00

Didn't think so.

Conversation of the day:

2006-07-20T16:46:00.000-04:00

Shanna Rose: I wish I had a Jacuzzi.
Deaner: If I had a jacuzzi I wouldn't need a massage.
Nicole: It would be cheaper.
Shanna Rose: Than a massage?
Deaner: They should have jacuzzis on subways.
Shanna Rose: Umm gross.
Nicole: You're a dirty bird. We're going to talk about that tomorrow, when you're not here.
Deaner: Think about it, in the morning, riding along on the subway?
Nicole: All packed in.

Happy Birthday Shanna-Rose!!

2006-07-19T15:33:00.000-04:00

Birthdays at the office are always the same. We get $20 allowance to spend on a cake from Dominion. We all meet at the production counter and sing the lucky birthday person the dreaded birthday song. However, lately people seem to rebel against this and get involved in the celebrations. Shanna-Rose did not want to turn 30 and have nasty ass dominion cake. She told me she wanted to turn 30 in class!
Here's what we managed to buy with our twenty dollars (fresh raspberries from the market, pound cake and ice cream).

Here she is doing the classic birthday routine later that night.

Mosaic Day

2006-07-19T15:27:00.000-04:00

We decided it was time to celebrate our diverse ethnic backgrounds at work. Our very fist bi-monthly Mosaic day was a success. We brought food from our home lands and shared special insight about our heritage. We each wore our home country's flag on our chests (Big shoutouts to a special organizer, Thanks for taking Mosaic day seriously, you know who you are)
But next time we'll also sing our national anthems. Here I am trying clam chowder for the first time.

Pigeon Visit

2006-07-19T15:06:00.000-04:00

My cubicle inmate and I were lounging one day, probably taking a break from surfing the internet when all of a sudden two pigeons stopped by looking at us from the outside. It felt like they were trying to communicate something important. Like the meaning of life outside the cubicle. I tried my hardest to get a conversation going but apparently my thoughts were too boring because they flew away right after this picture was taken. But it was a good moment.

Hey Arndis, I found your kid!!

2006-06-28T10:40:00.000-04:00

Actually that cute wee thing is my little cousin Rory...

Today at work...

2006-06-27T15:03:00.000-04:00

I convinced all my co-workers that it was a good idea for us all to chip in two dollars to buy a giant box of ice cream sandwiches. We bought the giant welfare box for 7.99..I now have 5 ice cream sandwiches!

I was cleaning out some stuff on my hard drive...

2006-06-26T12:09:00.000-04:00

Umm, ya. I dunno. Just thought I'd share.

Pretend Vacation April, May & June

2006-06-20T14:45:00.000-04:00

Shanna Rose: Um, Deaner, what's the date?

Lulu: It's June 20th. Deaner left a long time ago. Something about Belgium.

Deaner: Ha Ha I got rid of those losers. They were so drunk and full of schnitzel they didn't see me leaving.

Shanna Rose: I keep emailing Deaner but She never gets back to me. She has all my luggage..Shit!!!

Dear Deaner,

I'm very glad you are having such a great time in Brussels. I've heard the waffles are fantastic. Wish I was there. But Oh that's right, you ditched me in Austria.

See you in France,
Shanna Rose

Shanna Rose: Deaner? Lulu? I'm in France I think? Where are you? This whole monthly vacation is totally not working. We were supposed to go to one place each month. How frigging hard is that? All we have to do is paste a drawing to a god damn calandar and take a picture. Seriously, we're not retarded. WE CAN DO THIS!!!

Lulu: I thought I was only going to Austria.

Deaner: Sorry Lulu. You're stuck in the Calandar. And unfortunatly we had a hard enough time getting you to France so we couldn't get you a bathing suit. But luckily you still have your schnitzel and beer.

Good Ol Bonzai!

2006-06-19T16:52:00.000-04:00

The funny thing about getting photos developed from nearly a year ago is things like pictures of Bonzai. Oh Bonzai, the fun times we had. If you're reading this Gina I still need the princess picture of him at the Chinese Tavern. He was so awesome in such a not fun way if that makes any sense at all.
Moments after this photo was taken he tried to strangle Allyson. See, fun but not really fun. Just Bonzai's way of showing love.

We forgot our password.

2006-06-19T16:48:00.000-04:00

OMG! I'm back on! I forgot both my username and password for this stupit thing and for the past month I've been punching in different variations of words and I finally got back in!

Congratulations Kym & Derek!

2006-05-02T10:07:00.000-04:00

Madeline Elizabeth Manlow is my new favorite thing ever.

More Pics!

2006-04-25T15:57:00.000-04:00

My friend Kym is going to have this baby any second! Any second!

Giner Giner. Is going to be in Kabul any second! Any second!

Frigging exciting stuff!

Problems that you might be having.

2006-04-25T15:46:00.000-04:00

We all know working is hard or boring or whatever. And that people have problems. Remember back in high school you were able to go see a guidance councilor and you could just get things off your chest. Problems from home or school or your boyfriend/girlfriend. Just whatever. Well me and Deaner got emailing about problems we thought the other people at work might have. Things that you might want to go talk to the HR person about. Well, maybe not all of them cause they might get you in trouble. But there really should be someone at work to talk to. I've heard we have a priest on staff..Maybe he'd be good to talk to. I dunno, I'm not so Catholic these days..OK, here's the emails..Oh and thanks Martyna for helping us out with this.

You go on to other peoples computers and send out nasty emails to other coworkers using their email address.

One of your colleagues from another city leaves messages on your machine that are 20 minutes long every night after you've gone home so the first twenty minutes of the day you have to spend waiting to erase them.

on 4/25/06 3:35 PM, Dena Pourbazargan at dpourbazargan@stylegroup.ca wrote:

> You go see the councilor to borrow their staples cuz you feel like getting
> out of your desk cuz your job stinks,
> you go see the counciler to talk about your weekend or the weather ,And
> eventually you open up to your councilor about your ill feelings towards
> your boss.
>
>> Some guy on the subway keeps licking his lips when he sees you. EVERY
>> MORNING AT 8AM!
>>
>> You keep having dreams that you are in fights with all your coworkers and
>> now you think everyone at work hates you.
>>
>> You place sharpies without the cap in your coworkers jacket pockets.
>>
>>
>> on 4/25/06 3:17 PM, Dena Pourbazargan at dpourbazargan@stylegroup.ca wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> You are embarassed of your ethnic last name, it's hard for ppl to pronounce
>>> and it has too many letters in it.
>>>
>>> Everyday around 3pm, you get a strong urge to booty pop
>>>
>>> You don’t know why but you feel its your responsibility to keep your
>>> cublicle buddy entertained and you're tired of entertaining.
>>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>> You have strange sexual fantasies about rubbing your bosses feet.
>>>>
>>>> You keep hearing voices that tell you to pick your nose and eat it when
>>>> children are looking at you.
>>>>
>>>> Whenever you walk by peoples desks you compulsively make a strange clicking
>>>> noise instead of saying hello.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> on 4/25/06 2:06 PM, Dena Pourbazargan at dpourbazargan@stylegroup.ca wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> You're too lazy to go look for a better job.
>>>>>
>>>>> You have been secretly drinking with the accounting ladies on your
>>>>> cigarette
>>>>> breaks.
>>>>>
>>>>> Instead of doing work, you day dream about having a hot body with the use
>>>>> of
>>>>> steroids.
>>>>>

More from August

2006-03-29T11:39:00.000-05:00

Happy Noruz!

2006-03-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

Gina the fish joined us in production for New Years. Then she died the next day.

Pretend Vacation March

2006-03-28T14:36:00.000-05:00

Shanna Rose: I can't beleive how fast March went....sigh...

Deaner: Well we have been drunk on this beach in Costa Ricca for the entire month..sigh..

Excitement!

2006-03-14T15:02:00.000-05:00

Have you ever wondered what the most unattractive, uncreative, unappealing office lunch would be like? Here are some pictures so you can stop guessing.

Today after enjoying a nice talk with Shanna-Rose and of our ad designers at lunch, and then laughing at the anonymous chicken eater I came back to my cubicle not expecting too much excitement..

... But OHHHH what is this?? What's happening? What's getting these folks so interested?

That's right, an accident right outside our building! The afternoon is going to fly by now! Thank you fire fighters and your big red trucks!

Deaner

Summer Summer!

2006-03-14T14:34:00.000-05:00

Back in August I spent around $600 dollars on a bunch of infrared film. This was an attempt to get myself motivated to complete a creative project. I spent 4 years in art school and got myself in about a house worth of debt and have absolutely nothing to show for it. I kind of slacked off for a few months this winter. But now I'm back on track and a have few months worth of pictures that I'm getting processed. So once in a while when I really like a picture I'll post it up here. This one is from back in August. It's Arndis! Gina wasn't my only girlfriend to go and ditch me in December to see the world. Arndis is gone too..Off enjoying tapas and scarves.

Pretend Vacation.....

2006-02-24T14:20:00.000-05:00

Shanna Rose: So Deaner where are we this month?

Deaner: Looks like we're in Monaco for all of February.

Shanna Rose: Hmmm, Monaco is ok. I think I liked Cancun better..

Deaner: Ya, January was a good month.

Shanna Rose: I'm glad you are strong enough to carry all the bags. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to float on top of this nice building.

Deaner: So where are we next month?

Shanna Rose: In March we go to Costa Rica..Nice, It'll be good to get back to the beach. Where is Damian?

Deaner: Hmmm...

Shanna Rose: Oh look we meet up with him again in April. Just in time for his Birthday.

Deaner: Nice Austria.

Hello EVERYONE

2006-02-22T14:50:00.000-05:00

Today is a good day to start introducing you to my work surroundings. Welcome to my Cubicle people. This is the space where I lounge monday to friday, 9 am to 5pm. Shannon and Nicole (the new Gina) sit in the cubicle next to mine. Here they are:

A couple of cubicles away sits a lunch buddy and a damn good employee, he asked me not to reveal his real identity but look at how he can multi-task. His future is looking bright at St. Josephine Media.

Gina Jaan, if you read this, I've been reading about your life outside the cubicle and would like to say:

Now i'm going to take the new wish magazine into the washroom and read it for a while.
Deaner

Weeks of sadness

2006-02-10T10:34:00.000-05:00

I should explain why me and Deaner decided to do this blog. Giner Jamal who was once inside the cubicle with us left. She went to India and is having wonderful adventures. We both think it's great that Giner is having a really great time and doing really cool things with her life. But our cubicle feels sad and lonely without her. Above is a reminder of Giner. At parties she could often be found taking pictures of peoples crotches. She never discriminated, she would take a picture of your crotch whether she knew you or not. I think she got a special pleasure from taking pictures of crotches of complete strangers. That's just the sorta girl she is.

Tuesday Morning

2006-02-07T10:38:00.000-05:00

ShannaRose hard at work.

Monday Morning

2006-02-06T11:47:00.000-05:00

So it's Monday Morning here in Toronto. It's about -2 with lots of wind. Today for lunch I (Shanna Rose) have some left over soup and mashed potatoes with gravy. Deaner is having left over pizza. Neither of us are very happy with these lunches. Later we might go to the mall or somethin. You know to kill time.
Deaner has nothin to say right now. She'll post later. When something happens.